Somnis

Bylaia

Ningú t’havia dit que seria fàcil, però tu ho vas suposar…vas suposar que només havies de tancar els ulls i deixar-te dur, permetre que les emocions i els sentiments et guiaren,i volar i volar fins arribar a l’infinit i aconseguir tocar el cel amb els teus dits… Vas imaginar que el cor t’aniria a mil per hora cada dia, que estaries contenta notant cada sentiment a flor de pell, que cada època de l’any seria per a tu primavera i que el sol ixiria fins i tot els dies més foscos per fer-te feliç. Que cada bufit del vent s’enduria amb ell els records de temps passats i la pluja, escassa al teu gloriós món, esborraria els pijors moments. Vas creure que les llàgrimes que banyarien la teua cara serien sempre d’alegria, i que desitjaries dia rere dia abraçar el món i agrair-li haver-te fet viure en una realitat tan tendra i càlida.

Però va resultar que no, que estaves ben equivocada. Que cada vegada que tancaves els ulls desitjaves que quan els tornares a obrir aparegueres en un altre món, que les emocions i els sentiments només et portaven a fer actes incorrectes i inexplicables que abaven fente mal. Que cada època de l’any era com un hivern trist i fosc, fred i pesarós que es feia inacabable, que quan pensaves que anava a donar pas a la verda,dolça i acollidora primavera dels teus somnis, aquesta passava volant per davant dels teus nassos en un minut, i de nou tornaven els núvols i la foscor. Al contrari del que havies imaginat, el vent només s’enduia lo bo, i amb la pluja caien milers i milers d’obstacles que et feien més difícil l’existència. Cada llàgrima que va caure rodolant galta avall feia veure la falta d’alegria de la teua ànima, i els ulls, plorosos, no podien ni amb el pes de les teues pròpies parpelles. I tu, esgotada i avorrida, només vas desitjar cridar als quatre vents amb molta força…cridar per deshofegar-te, per dir-li al món que allò era un injustícia, per treure’t de damunt tot el t’escanyava. Però et vas estrangular amb els teus propis crits, i et vas quedar sense veu, I ja mai més vas poder cridar, ni emocionar, ni riure, ni tampoc plorar. Ja mai més vas poder sentir, perquè aquell sentiment que amb tanta ànsia havies desitjat havia acabat amb tots els altres.

I vas saber que ja mai podries tornar-te a enamorar.

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